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The giant reproduction of a Nexium capsule will be all metal and bear the compelling purple paint with three gold stripes that has become synonymous with acid reflux relief.

Santa Monica, April Fools

Tongva Park Gets Funds & Attraction

Posted Apr. 1, 2014, 9:15 am

Santa Monica will receive some generous funding for public spaces and Tongva Park will add a new climbing and sliding attraction for “kids of all ages” according to officials who have struck a deal with pharmaceutical manufacturer AstraZeneca.

Residents with weight-challenged neighbors living directly overhead made assumptions during the recent late-night quake.

Santa Monica, April Fools

47% Of Santa Monica Residents Believe Earthquake Was Obese Neighbor

Posted Apr. 1, 2014, 9:13 am

A survey by The Mirror indicates that 47 percent of Santa Monica residents didn’t even bother to get out of bed during the recent 4.4 earthquake because they believed the shaker was caused by a heavy-set man or woman living in the apartment just above them.

Three Santa Monica Starbucks outlets will now feature female servers in “fitness-forward” outfits echoing their Mermaid logo art.

Santa Monica, April Fools

Starbucks "Evening" Adds Mermaid Servers To Santa Monica Outlets

Posted Apr. 1, 2014, 9:11 am

Following the introduction of wine and beer “Evenings” offerings at 26 of its outlets nationwide, coffee giant Starbucks has announced that three of its Santa Monica outlets will now feature female servers in “fitness-forward” outfits echoing their Mermaid logo art.

Santa Monica, April Fools

The Santa Monica Mirror Adds New "Not Appearing" Listing Feature

Posted Apr. 1, 2014, 9:09 am

The Santa Monica Mirror will soon add a new regular feature that lists the names of celebrities who will not be appearing at benefit events for local schools.

Santa Monica, April Fools

Emotions Run High On KCRW Personal Ads

Posted Apr. 1, 2014, 9:08 am

Only two months old, the new “personal ad” service being offered by KCRW FM public radio has involved numerous emotional outbursts and instigated at least three divorces resulting from recorded personal ads placed by listeners.

Santa Monica, April Fools

Apple Store To Add "White Stuff Eats" Deli At Third Street Promenade Location

Posted Apr. 1, 2014, 9:05 am

The Apple Store has announced plans for adding a deli to its large store on the Third Street Promenade. According to corporate sources, the food counter will be called “White Stuff Eats” and feature only food items that are the same shade of white as Apple’s popular personal electronics.

Santa Monica, April Fools

Solar Roller Coaster Strands 23 At Santa Monica Pier

Posted Apr. 1, 2014, 9:03 am

Clouds gathered over the viability of the new solar-powered roller coaster ride “Sun Twister” at the Santa Monica Pier, when a sudden change in weather stranded 23 passengers at the highest point on the ride.

Santa Monica Airport will be renamed the Great Park of Marijuana after the City Council approved its 'Up In SMOke plan.'

Santa Monica, April Fools

Santa Monica Airport To Be Converted Into Great Park For Marijuana

Posted Apr. 1, 2014, 8:54 am

Santa Monica Airport (SMO) has always been a place to get elevated. By the end of 2015, people won’t have to ride an aircraft to arrive in the clouds. Instead, anyone visiting the airfield next year will only have to bring a piece of paper and a lighter as SMO will be converted into the Great Park of Marijuana.

“Mom’s Recipe” Food Trucks To Sell Guilt Beer.

Santa Monica, April Fools

“Mom’s Recipe” Food Trucks 
To Sell Guilt Beer

Posted Apr. 1, 2013, 9:30 am

The popular food trucks known as “Mom’s Recipe” that have for years provided home-made “comfort food” to thousands of hungry Santa Monica eaters – many of them under siege by trendy restaurants and healthful dietary fads – has announced they will now also offer “Guilt,” a new high alcohol beer being test marketed in Southern California.

Expo Line Gets Approval For Super Fancy Club Cars.

Santa Monica, April Fools

Expo Line Gets Approval For Super Fancy Club Cars

Posted Apr. 1, 2013, 9:28 am

When the new Expo Line finally reaches Santa Monica from downtown LA there may be difficulty loading the trains but there won’t be a problem getting loaded.

Big Blue Trailers Coming!

Santa Monica, April Fools

Big Blue Bus To Begin Utilizing Trailers

Posted Apr. 1, 2013, 9:27 am

Santa Monica Big Blue Bus authorities have announced that in order to deal with recent spikes in passenger numbers they will begin utilizing Big Blue Trailers, a trailer with seats pulled behind a Big Blue Bus that, despite its somewhat inexpensive design, will provide “a comfortable open-air ride for our customers.”

Marathon Finish Line To Feature Green Slime.

Santa Monica, April Fools

LA Marathon 2014 Finish Line To Feature Green Slime

Posted Apr. 1, 2013, 9:25 am

Santa Monica’s 2014 LA Marathon finish line will be “entertainment enhanced” according to executives from Nickelodeon children’s television, sponsors of the finish line next year.

Balance-Striking Broadcast Taps Clinton And Foster.

Santa Monica, April Fools

Balance-Striking Broadcast Taps Clinton And Foster

Posted Apr. 1, 2013, 9:24 am

The National Organization for Women’ Santa Monica chapter has won its battle to host a counter “Today” show morning broadcast to mitigate the damage done by a recent “Today” show featuring Kathy Lee and Hoda from Santa Monica Place.

Albertson’s On Wilshire Purchased By Apple.

Santa Monica, April Fools

Albertson's On Wilshire Purchased By Apple

Posted Apr. 1, 2013, 9:22 am

Apple, manufacturer of the popular iPhone and other personal electronics, has purchased the closed Albertson’s store building on Wilshire Boulevard in Santa Monica.

Lindsay Lohan Arrested At Promenade On General Principles.

Santa Monica, April Fools

Lindsay Lohan Arrested At Promenade On General Principles

Posted Apr. 1, 2013, 9:18 am

Insisting that a later search of her car and purse would “probably turn up something illegal,” Santa Monica police arrested alleged actress Lindsay Lohan just on general principles last Friday afternoon as she was leaving the hip jewelry boutique “Pretty/Empty/ Life.”

Law enforcement officials reported this week they were forced to shut down the first-ever Coke speakeasy in Santa Monica.

Santa Monica, April Fools

Santa Monica Coke Speakeasy Raided, Shut Down

Posted Apr. 1, 2013, 9:14 am

Three weeks after Congress and state legislators enacted the Twenty-Eight Amendment to the United States Constitution, law enforcement officials reported this week they were forced to shut down the first-ever Coke speakeasy here in Santa Monica.

The City of Santa Monica has struck a deal with the producers of “Avenue Q” to produce a continuous stream of adult-oriented puppet show musicals in the Civic Auditorium.

Santa Monica, April Fools

Santa Monica Civic Auditorium To Become "Building Q"

Posted Apr. 1, 2013, 9:10 am

Looking for long-term programming that might keep the Santa Monica Civic Auditorium open and financially solvent, the City has struck a deal with the producers of the sexually-oriented puppet show “Avenue Q” to produce a continuous stream of adult-oriented puppet show musicals in the Civic.

Snagglepuss performed for nearly two hours in a free show on the Promenade intended to allay public anxieties over shootings of mountain lions.

Santa Monica, April Fools

Snagglepuss Defuses Santa Monica Mountain Lion Anxiety

Posted Apr. 1, 2013, 9:06 am

Snagglepuss, the beloved Hanna-Barbera cartoon character, performed for nearly two hours in a free show on the Promenade intended to allay public anxieties over shootings of mountain lions at the Promenade as occurred in May of last year.

The City of Santa Monica is hoping to enforce a new code that compels any appeals made by panhandlers to include a logical and rational argument

Santa Monica, April Fools

Santa Monica Homeless To Panhandle With Logic

Posted Apr. 1, 2013, 8:59 am

Citing numerous cases of homeless panhandlers being rude and even aggressively obnoxious with the public, the City of Santa Monica is hoping to enforce a new code that compels any appeals made by panhandlers to include a logical and rational argument as to why they should be given free money.

Santa Monica, April Fools

Ocean Park Boulevard Actually Berry Farm Entrance

Posted Apr. 1, 2013, 8:58 am

Thousands of Santa Monica residents wondering what all the colorful paint was about on Ocean Park Boulevard had their questions answered last week when a City report revealed that the highly decorated portion of Ocean Park from Lincoln to Main Street is actually a secret entrance to Knott’s Berry Farm.

Santa Monica, April Fools

City Of Santa Monica Will Destroy All Parking Structures To Build Arby’s

Posted Apr. 1, 2013, 8:56 am

With all members agreeing that “When you put parking convenience up next to Arby’s Classic Beef n’ Cheddar there’s just no contest…” the Santa Monica City Council unanimously approved a measure that would demolish all city parking structures and replace them with Arby’s restaurants.

Santa Monica, April Fools

Santa Monica Airport Tower 
To Add Roller Coaster

Posted Apr. 1, 2013, 8:53 am

Copying the highly successful Stratosphere tower in Las Vegas, officials have struck a deal with the FAA to build a roller coaster on the control tower of Santa Monica Airport.

The “Republic of Santa Monica” hotel will be funded and constructed by Stately Princes, Inc., a group of 45 business owners based in Dubai. According to City staff, the price tag is expected to be $5.73 trillion.

Santa Monica, April Fools

"Republic Of Santa Monica" Hotel To Be World's Tallest

Posted Apr. 1, 2013, 8:48 am

Only weeks after a conglomerate of Dubai businesses funded a hostile takeover of the Santa Monicans for Renters’ Rights (SMRR) and sponsored a successful recall election of the entire Santa Monica City Council, the newly installed panel of public officials wasted no time getting to work. Their first order of business at last night’s council meeting: approve a Development Agreement (DA) for the world’s largest hotel.

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