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Santa Monica, April

Palisades Park Personal Trainers Will Work Nude

Palisades Park Personal Trainers Will Work Nude.
Thinkstock/Mirror Media
Palisades Park Personal Trainers Will Work Nude.

April Fool's 2013!

Posted Apr. 1, 2013, 9:31 am

Staff Report

While debate still resonates around the use of Palisades Park by personal trainers, the trainers involved have agreed to conduct their workouts in the nude as a means of giving back to the city.  

Spokesperson for the trainers Divina Narcissus released a press statement.

“The consistently perfect and toned bodies of work out trainers will combine with the natural setting of the park and the ocean to create a tableau of breath-taking beauty rivaling any of our national parks,” the statement read. “Imagine Yellowstone, but with a really tight butt.”

Narcissus pointed out that many of the personal trainers using Palisades Park as a rent-free facility for their businesses have worked as models on the Home Shopping Network and have distributed “important literature” at auto shows.   

“To experience that level of physical exquisiteness unfettered by clothing will be a gift to anyone watching our workouts in the park.  For someone to imply that we’re taking instead of giving…?  Come here.  Touch my arm.  See how it’s like smooth buttery steel?  No, really… enjoy my tawny suppleness.”

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Post a comment


Apr. 2, 2013, 5:58:57 pm

Charlie Patton said...

Please do not offer candy to a child when there is really no candy at all. Charlie Patton Resident Pervert

Apr. 1, 2013, 8:10:26 pm

Erin Dick said...

This article is sexist, offensive, and patronizing to an issue of importance to our city. I'm completely disgusted that the SM Mirror would choose to use this issue as your springobard spoof story for April Fools. Clearly, you're not interested in informing the public in a balanced, unbiased way. Your "April Fools" message was laced with politcal rhetoric that clearly shows a bias. Regrettable and unnecessary and certainly not expected from a publication that claims to employ credible journalists. News Flash: You are NOT The Onion! You are a local, hometown paper that people trust and respect! Shame on you Santa Monica Mirror for using April Fools as an opportunity to objectify women and patronize an issue that is important to Santa Monica. Erin Dick Spokesperson for the Santa Monica Outdoor Fitness Coalition

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