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A Preposterous Bit of Crystal Gazing:

The other day my crystal ball became unclouded, and this is what

appeared:

The year is 2045, and George W. Bush, Jr. (2040-), the first son of

GWB’s daughter Jenna, is now in his second term as President of the

United States, succeeding George P. Bush, Jr. (2032-2040), who

succeeded Jeb Bush, Jr. (2024-2032), who succeeded George H. Bush II

(2016-2024), who succeeded Jeb Bush (2008-2016).

The United States in 2045 is in the second decade of a massive

depression: the trade deficit is now $5 trillion; the budget deficit

is at $17 trillion and unemployment has reached 40 million, which is

10% of the population of 400 million Americans. The oil sadly dried up

for Americans during the administration of Jeb Bush, Jr. (2024-2032)

when Iran, Syria, Jordan, Egypt, Turkey, Saudi Arabia, Kurdistan (a

new nation in 2012), the Shiite Kingdom, and the United Sunnis all

formed a consortium and decided to deal exclusively with the European

Union and China. This was a significant cause of the U.S.A.’s two

decades of economic depression. Used SUVs, however, continue to enjoy

a brisk business, but no longer for transportation, since oil has been

pretty much unavailable for more than ten years. No, the used SUVs

function as “Hoovervilles,” and one can drive by vast communities of

rows and rows of SUV-towns housing the jobless.

To stave off the depression, America agreed to sell off all but 5% of

its weapons of mass destruction, long-range bombers, and other means

of making war. For a time the Bush family and friends and Carlyle

Associates made enormous profits from these sales, and the Bush

dynasty was able to purchase virtually every means of mass

communication and information delivery services in the country.

Some Americans were nervous about the course of events and

particularly about having one family control the presidency for

forty-five consecutive years, but the public was reassured by everyone

in the media that this was clearly God’s will. Furthermore, with

elections now the purview of private companies whose vote count always

seemed at odds with post-election polling surveys, it appeared as

though democracy had undergone a dramatic transformation.

The enormous power of the Bush dynasty, however, did not escape the

notice of the Arab Federation, headed up since 2035 by a nephew of the

late Saddam Hussein, Baddam Hussein, who called upon the United

Nations to inspect the United States for weapons of mass destruction.

Baddam believed that the U.S. had secretly gone over its agreed upon 5

percent of the world’s WMDs, and Baddam was upset. The U.S. agreed to

allow the inspectors into the U.S.A., and they were roving the deserts

of the Southwest when the U.S.A. began to notice a build-up of Arab

League armed forces in Mexico (a recent ally of the Arab League).

The U.S. protested this build-up, but Baddam said that God told him

that the U.S. was lying about its 5 percent limit. Furthermore, he

said that God wanted him to eliminate the evil Bush dynasty and

restore democracy to the U.S.A. So thus in March of 2045, the Arab

League attacked the U.S.A., launching what they called a “Daze and

Amaze” assault on San Francisco, Los Angeles, New York, Cleveland,

Chicago and Miami all in one night. Then Arab troops invaded cities

all over America. They came prepared to be received as saviors

liberating America from the Bush dynasty. Their plan was to restore

election proceedings to the public sector, to restore a balance of

private and public operations of the media, and to require the top 5

percent of Americans to pay taxes (Jeb Bush had outlawed all taxation

on all incomes over $200,000 in 2009), and to restore various social

services to the general public.

Some Americans seemed delighted at these prospects, but others

resented foreigners occupying their land. “The Brits did that to us

once before – we aren’t going to let it happen again” was the rallying

cry. And paramilitary groups, secret militia and Armageddon Club

members all took to resisting the Arab invaders. Snipers were

particularly effective, and chaos began to rear its ugly head. A lot

of people died in a short period of time… but before I could see where

this was all going, the crystal ball became clouded up. No matter;

certainly nothing so preposterous could ever happen, anywhere, at any

time.

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