Check Please:

EX HIGH SCHOOL JOCK SEEKS NAUGHTY CHEERLEADER: I’m a narcissistic, adolescent, Irish DWM. I like myself, my money, my job, my body, my friends, my beer, my car and chicks with athletic bodies. Big tits are a plus, but a hard ass is a must. I work out obsessively, have no interest in your feelings and no capacity for intimacy of any kind. I’m looking for a smokin’ hot Betty who will baby-sit my son, feed me and my friends, entertain my family, demand nothing of me and re-enact sex scenes from my favorite pornographic films. No possibility of a LTR here. If that sounds good, come to my house and I’ll try you out for the squad.