You can always rely on a society of equals taking it out on the women.”- Alan Sillitoe, British novelist, born 1928 Since we’re still in that period in which the old year is being compared to the New Year, it might be worthwhile to review how 2005 went for women. It would, but I’m not going to do that.Because I’m interested in the now, and there might be more to be gleaned by observing events around us as a gauge of that which has moved and that which has not moved since any of us began to seriously care about women’s rights and women’s equality in all things. Consider: What does it profit us that Oprah may have had the upper hand on David Letterman with her recent self-serving appearance on his show (the entire event was an infomercial for her musical production of The Color Purple) if at the same time Pamela Anderson gets a sitcom and dueling nitwits Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie get books and media and fashion deals when it’s clear none of those last three possess any marketable skills?You’d be right to say, “But that’s media and media is often a hundred per cent baloney.” So instead, let’s look a little closer to earth. Here are three news events involving women that were all reported on the same day, January 4, 2006. Keep in mind that whether you like it or not, we are now living in the 21st century. May I Pretend to Like You, Sir…? The all female Malibu-based parking service, Valet Girls, was acquired by the similar California Girls Valet Parking of Beverly Hills in a deal said to be worth about $400,000. The new combined company will provide a service in which 200 drivers, mostly struggling actresses, models and dancers, will park the expensive cars of the rich at private parties and restaurants and hotels in uniforms consisting of bikinis, lingerie, camisoles, and miniskirts. One employee comments: “They tip big and all I do is park their car.” Tips for the drivers can add up to $300 or $400 a night. The company, now armed with more female employees, expects its 2006 sales to be about $3 million. The Creeps Keep Coming Dr. Phil may be trying in earnest to wise up the men folk, but the creeps still keep creeping. A Huntington Beach mother of two was told by police detectives that her male neighbor had videotaped her nude through her second-floor bedroom and bathroom windows, using a system of cameras mounted in his attic, the eaves of his home, and his daughter’s playhouse. The creep was sentenced to 210 days in jail, but there’s a civil suit pending. Getting a Fresh Start As of January 4, prosecutors were seeking the extradition of a San Diego woman now hiding in Florida who is accused of poisoning her husband and using his life insurance money to pay for breast implants and a series of loud parties at which she reportedly showed-off the results of her recent surgery. Okay, there’s always a nut job out there. But where does that idea for implants come from, the Lifetime Channel? I’m not saying people shouldn’t yearn for a better tomorrow, but… imagine Condoleezza Rice at one of those “loud” parties. Wouldn’t she point out that hard work and attention to detail are much more important than boobs? I mean, if you want a job with honor that helps people.
This Week’s “Know Your News” Quiz 1) Democrats warned Samuel A. Alito Jr. (a) to expect tough hearing questions. (b) to stop chewing gum in inter views. (c) that his smooth good looks won’t cut it. 2) The Bloopernator’s State of the State speech (a) begged for forgiveness. (b) proposed spending increases. (c) was written phonetically. 3) The Rose Bowl had a record number of (a) television viewers. (b) stunned bookies. (c) weeping men.
Answer Key 1) (a) Question One: Have you seen “King Kong”? 2) (b) All right, I really don’t belong here… 3) (a) You’re saying it’s not rigged..?!