February 25, 2024 Breaking News, Latest News, and Videos

Television: Is it no Longer the Incredible, Edible Egg?:

 It’s being called egg-vertising and CBS will be the first and only network this fall to be printing its shows’ logos on something that comes out of a chicken’s butt.  Seriously, doesn’t that make it something unpleasant by default?

Either way, CBS has taken hold of the brilliant technology developed by a company called Egg Fusion (you’ve no doubt seen their handiwork on eggs with expiration dates imprinted on them) that is being touted as a new form of advertising called “outernet strategy” to reach people through unusual channels rather than the usual print ad, TV or Internet spots. 

How many eggs will be colored with CBS’s stamp?  Around 35 million, give or take a couple of million.  And the shows will have catchy egg-citing catch phrases to go along with it, like “CSI: Crack the Case on CBS”; “The Amazing Race: Scramble to Win on CBS”; and “Shark: Hard-Boiled Drama.” 

More logos to include: CBS Mondays: “Leave the Yolks to Us” and “How I Met Your Mother: Find Your Chick on CBS.” 

It’s hard to decide whether it’s the smartest thing the network has ever done or the stupidest.  On the one hand, all those little eggs have so much unused white space on them and if Americans aren’t watching commercials anymore (TIVO) and they aren’t looking at pop-ups (pop-up blockers!) at least they can be counted upon to buy, hold, crack and toss eggs.

On the other hand, if I were the big wigs at CBS, though, I might be worried about what all those egg-vertistings will look like once they are cracked and tossed.  How is it going to look, say, in the dumpster when its nothing but a whole bunch of dirty, cracked shells with CBS logos on them?  Isn’t it going to look a little unseemly?

With the news breaking now, it gives Americans plenty of time to get used to the idea, maybe even get excited about the idea, maybe even get to the point where they can’t wait for the eggs to arrive so they can collect every type.  Maybe people will blow out the yokes and keep the shells whole and perhaps one day sell them on eBay!

As for CBS, perhaps it ought to spend less time worrying about getting people to watch its shows and more time making the shows better.  What has happened to CSI?  It used to be the best crime show on TV.  Now, the characters are all shadows of their former selves.  CSI: Miami is the only one worth watching.

Without a Trace is still good, as is Cold Case, Survivor and of course, Criminal Minds, currently their best show.  People will watch the network in droves if their programming continues to be as good as it has been in the past.

Finally, it’s worth meditating upon one final note.  Isn’t it going to be a little too easy to call every show of CBS’ that flops a rotten egg?  The metaphors are going to overwhelm the message. 

I don’t think I particularly want to buy eggs that have advertising on them.  It’s hard enough to get through the day without seeing at least 20 ads at a minimum.  Who really needs that?  No one needs it.  Stick with organic.  Is nothing sacred anymore?

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