Even though the ‘08 presidential elections are over 600 days out, the fur is already flying fast and furious. It can be fun to watch. Best quip of the year so far goes to Ann Romney, wife of Republican candidate, Mitt. The Romney’s are Mormon and FOX News “broke” the story that Mitt’s great-grandfather had five wives, and his great-great grandfathers each may have had as many as twelve wives. When queried about her spouse’s family, Ann Romney demurred on the historical and instead focused upon the present, pointing out that the difference between her husband, Mitt, and his two leading Republican challengers is that Mitt has “had only one wife.” Way to go Ann! Turns out that John McCain has been married twice, and Rudolph Giuliani three times. (If Mitt gets the nod, you can expect him to at least carry Utah, thanks to the next-of-kin-soccer-mom vote.)
Speaking of wives, Hillary Clinton is the front runner on the Democrat side. Once, many thought that the Kennedy’s would become America’s “royal family.” Instead, we may be witnessing the ongoing emergence of a “bi-polar” monarchy which every eight years switches 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue between the House of Bush and the House of Clinton. Our flip-flop monarchy could go on for a long time: H.W. Bush (‘89 inauguration); Bill Clinton (‘93); W. Bush (‘01); Hillary Clinton (‘09); Jeb Bush (‘17); Chelsea Clinton (‘25); one of W’s twin daughters, Barbara or Jenna (‘33). In 2041 the Clinton family tree runs out of branches – Chelsea needed a child by January 20, 2006, to have offspring constitutionally old enough (35 years of age) to assume the White House on January 20, 2041.
Speaking of divorce, late February’s estrangement-of-the-week was David Geffen’s lashing out at Hillary as too divisive, and for good measure, Bill Clinton as an ongoing political liability. Geffen was long a close friend, almost family, to the Clintons and he raised millions for Bill. He now supports Barack Obama. Maybe Hillary could win David back with a campaign rally on the public portion of the beach (mean high tide line) in front of Geffen’s Malibu estate?
Speaking of family political dynasties, beaches and rising ocean levels, global warming won huge coverage under the glare of the Kodak Theater lights as Al Gore (of the Gore royal family of Tennessee) won an Oscar for An Inconvenient Truth. While actors have long invaded the world of politics (e.g. John Wilkes Booth, George Murphy, Ronald Reagan, Arnold Schwarzenegger), this is the first time a major politician has won an Oscar. Glee was mitigated somewhat with the subsequent media revelation that the Gore mansion in Tennessee runs a monthly electric bill of $1,500.* (Additional revelations that global cooling advocate Senator Diane Feinstein commutes in a gas guzzling private jet earned her the Carbon-Miranda-of-the-Week Award!) Let he who is innocent throw the first lump of coal.
* Editor’s Note:
For some accurate facts on Al Gore’s energy use go to http://urbanlegends.about. com/od/government/a/al_gore_energy.htm.