>What can we say? This is one of our guilty pleasures.
In the words of the inimitable Mr. Blackwell:
Welcome to my annual merry-go-round of fashion follies – the Worst-Dressed Women List. This past year stands out as one of the most disastrous fashion years in recent memory – as well as being a particularly eye-popping moment in Tinseltown where several worst-dressed repeat offenders suffered collective meltdowns. There was more melodrama surrounding the Spears clan, Lindsay, Paris, and a host of other style-challenged starlets than a double feature of Baby Jane and Valley of the Dolls. Either it was a comedy of errors or a typhoon of terrors…you decide.
Disappointments also abounded… from the usually beautiful Nicole Kidman who often buried herself in too much boring black to the elegant Gwyneth Paltrow in a decidedly unglamorous mood through much of 2007. Red carpet looks were, for the most part, unmemorable and old-hat. One longed for a Björk or Cher to show up to liven up the ho-hum design proceedings with their usual fatal fashion flair.
Speaking of fatal fashion, look no further than this year’s Worst-Dressed round-up, consisting of Ten Titans of Taste-Free Terrors. From pop princesses to movie stars to “It” girls on their way “Out,” this catastrophic crop of couture clowns are truly tragic in the design department. Let it be said, however, that my criticisms are based purely on their fashion flaws – I’m sure they’re all wonderful people beneath the deluge of dreck they drape themselves in.
Here’s hoping for a beautiful 2008…and remember: dressing well really IS the best revenge!
10. Alison Arngrim: Little Nellie of the prairie, looks like a 1940s fashion editor for the Farmer’s Almanac.
9. Lindsay Lohan: Lindsay the fashion frenzy strikes again! Lohan takes fashion to a new low.
8. Jessica Simpson: Forget the Cowboys. In prom queen screams, can it get any worse? She’s a global fashion curse!
7. Avril Lavigne: Gothic make-up courtesy the mad spatula – fashions provided by…the house of Dracula!
6. Eva Green: Stuck in neon nightmares not fit for the sane. Fashion this loud could give Bond a migraine! A profusion of confusion from toes to nose!
5. Kelly Clarkson: Her heavenly voice soars above the rest…but those belly-baring bombs are hellish at best! She may be the queen of “Pro-Active” – but that wardrobe looks downright radioactive!
4. Fergie: Another style-free “Fergie” in fashion’s hall of shame? Yes, when it comes to couture chaos, guess it’s all in a name!
3. Mary Kate Olsen: YIKES! In layers of cut-rate kitsch, Mary Kate’s look is hard to explain…she resembles a tattered toothpick trapped in a hurricane!
2. Amy Winehouse: Exploding beehives above…tacky polka-dots below…she’s part 50s car-hop horror.
1. Victoria Beckham: Forget the fashion spice – wearing a skirt would suffice! In one skinny-mini monstrosity after another, pouty posh can really wreck-em.
Britney Note: For those of you who were expecting to see Britney’s name adorn the 2007 list, I felt that it was in appropriate at this time to make comment, when her personal life is in such upheaval. I hope 2008 is a better year for her.
Fabulous Fashion Independents for 2007:
Reese Witherspoon, Jemima Khan, Beyoncé, Angelina Jolie, Helen Mirren, Nicole Kidman, Katie Holmes, Kate Middleton, Katherine Heigl, and Cate Blanchett.