What is there to say about the way ABC’s The Bachelor came to a screeching halt? Out of 25 women, the single dad Jason Mesnick did what every red-blooded American male would do – he chose the women 25 and under to be his wife! There were mothers in the group, there were mature women, there were plenty of better choices, but somehow Jason – spiraling down the worst possible path, probably the same path that ended him up as a single dad and the same path that ended him up on last season’s The Bachelorette where he was unceremoniously dumped for Jesse the Snowboarder. Oh good God, will someone please save these people from themselves?I hereby declare Jason Mesmick the stupidest man on the planet. There, I said it. I looked long and hard, folks. I’ve even dated a few candidates, but this Jason made such horrifyingly bad decisions in front of millions of people and now has to live down the ticking clock to remind him that he’s going to get dumped quickly and that will be that. Ty will be again without a mother, and Jason will again be the mopey guy complaining about the woman who done him and his son wrong.If you juxtapose The Bachelor with HBO’s Big Love you will find that polygamy is the preferable option. Jason really should be able to have his pretty young girls and then choose a woman who can mop up his dumbo messes and fix things in the household. In the absence of a man with a brain, there must be sister-wives. There is no way to know why Americans still watch The Bachelor. No human being can be expected to think with any reliable body part when given mere weeks to find the love of their lives, and the show’s producers know this. What they want is some huggy huggy, kissy kissy, fake tears, drunken hot tub moments, and frosted with plenty of drama. See how easy we are to please? We don’t even demand authenticity. “I just thought he would be smarter about it, considering he’s been hurt twice, I just think he’s making a huge mistake.” Those were the words of, I can’t even remember her name and I just watched it last night. The other girl, the blonde, not Melissa, the chosen one. Well, the chosen one before becoming the dumped one. You see, Jason is convinced that it couldn’t possibly be him, it MUST be the girl he picked. So what does he do? He reverses his decision and on-camera, with all of America watching, he explains to a seething Melissa that the chemistry just wasn’t there, and blah blah blah. We’ve seen it and heard it all, haven’t we?So then out comes the other one, the blonde he’d dumped a month or so back. Now she’s the “right” girl. She is, of course, stunned but decides to give ol’ Jason another chance, not stopping long enough to be miffed about having been passed over for the final rose. He is, after all, her dream man. And dreams are everything, eh? So there’s Jason dumping a 25-year-old for a 24- year-old – great way to get a stepmom for your son, there, Jason. We viewers simply go through the motions, shaking our heads and clucking the way sister-wives would when they look at the godless couples at the local Big Lots. And then it occurred to me that the lure of The Bachelor isn’t whether two people will find true love; it’s an opportunity for the audience to be right about guessing this poor sucker’s epic fail; we need to be right, and thus Jason is destined to pick the wrong girl. It is a slow-moving car wreck that everyone can see from a mile away yet no one does anything to stop. Newsday put it best when they wrote, “Jason Mesnick doesn’t need a new wife. He needs a psychiatrist.”
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