September 22, 2020 Breaking News, Latest News, and Videos

A Blaze of Purple Haze:

Like, dude, I can’t believe I’m writing this. Like the words are glowing bright black against the white on my Apple screen. Thinking about it, the white looks like the white inside an apple. Reporter Dave here. What do you mean, “Dave’s not here?” This is Dave.Seems in all the recent chaos the Governator took time out to wonder aloud if California should look into legalizing pot!Wow dude. Old news like buying big Hummers. The voter folks years ago passed the medical marijuana initiative. Check out L.A. Weekly — there’s scores of marijuana clinics advertising some really cosmic weed at or slightly below street prices. We’re talking some superior wowie: no stems, no seeds, home grown by a growing group — get it, “growing group” — of cannabis harvesters right here in the sunshine state.You have to be sick to get your legal marijuana card? You can be and some really needy folks are getting real help for some of the most awful afflictions. But dude, you can find the right doc who will get you your cannabis card for backache, PMS, a occasional melon collie, or even if you just stay up all night watching old horror flicks cause you can’t sleep. Hey, restart Creature from the Black Lagoon would you? Check out those old cars with the big fins. Funky dude. Wanna hear a zinger? You have to be 21 to buy a six pack of beer at Ralph’s, but only 18 to get your happy smoke card! What do you mean, “Dave’s not here?” This is Dave. Let me in. So like how come a Republican Governor suggests looking into legalized pot? Like dude, remember conservative William F. Buckley, the guy with big words from Yale? He was in favor of legal pot. Remember the econ-man, Noble Prize smarty Milton Friedman. He was in favor of legal pot. Some hard thinking right wingers see the light.Pass the potato chips.Hey, thinking about it, sometimes the dudes from the wrong side of the political spectrum are in the best position to advance the opposite side’s agenda. Like commie-fighter and lifetime cold warrior Dick Nixon who ended up sipping hooch with Chairman Mao in Beijing. Or the Reagan dude who preached small government and instead started the tradition of huge deficits. Or liberal Jimmy Carter who deregulated the airlines, trucking, and the banks. Or Bill Clinton who ended federal welfare to needy families. Hey dude, no surprise that a Republican governor may take the lead in legalizing pot.Pass the M&M peanuts. I’m starving.So here’s the news. For hundreds of thousands of Californians pot is already legal. A big deal? No way. Nobody hardly notices. Legalizing pot for all would be evolution, not revolution. Speaking of revolution, where’s my Che poster? Okay, California has other problems. A million California solar homes remains a dream. Wow, I just remembered, never stare into the sun. And California is in a huge fiscal mess — dollar bills piled from here to the Moon wouldn’t be enough to balance Arnold’s budget. Hey ever notice how the moons circling the planets are like electrons circling atoms? Cosmic, dude. Hey, ever notice that both “California” and “cannabis” start with the letters “c” and “a?” Arnold’s lasting legacy may just be legal pot for every adult — the opportunity to tune in, turn on and drop out in a blaze of purple haze.I found my Che poster. Turn on the black light.

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