Woman Bites Dog!
Wednesday, June 24, 5:15 p.m. Officers of The Santa Monica Police Department responded to a report of assault and battery at the 2600 block of 11th Street. As the officers were speeding to the scene they received a second radio transmission advising them that the suspect, a 29-year-old woman, was now biting a dog (bad, bad girl!). When the officers arrived at the scene they witnessed the woman in question sitting upon the back of a dog, and biting the dog’s ear (sweet nothings?), so they asked her to get off the dog, but she refused. The officers then physically dragged her off this poor canine, and restrained her whilst they got the low-down from witnesses on what had occurred. Apparently, this 29-year-old woman had attempted to choke a human victim, struck a second human victim in the face, and, as these assaults were taking place, the woman’s own dogs began fighting with each other. The woman attempted to stop her dogs from fighting by choking one of them and biting the other (how very odd!). This woman was arrested (collared?) and booked for assault with a deadly weapon, and cruelty to animals.
Off The Wall!
Thursday, June 25, 2:50 p.m. Officers received a report of a fight taking place at the 1000 block of Pico Boulevard, so they went there. When they arrived they spoke with the victim, a male (human) who informed them that he had been fighting with his boyfriend (human). During this fight the victim had attempted to call the police by utilizing a phone attached to a wall, but the boyfriend ripped the phone out of the wall, thus rendering it inoperable. The boyfriend then hit the victim over the head with a novelty wooden baseball bat. The suspect was a white male (human) aged 34, of no fixed abode, and had fled the scene prior to the officer’s arrival. At the time of going to press there are no reports of any bookings in this case.
Friday, June 26, 2:35 p.m. Officers went to the 1300 block of Third Street Promenade in response to a person who was creating quite a buzz, but of the most undesirable kind. When the officers arrived, they observed a man who was causing agitation to a swarm of bees by throwing various objects at them, including a box, some plastic bottles, and some water. Officers were told that this guy had assaulted several members of the public as they had attempted to halt this performance. The bees had by then began to swarm around this, er, person. The officers suggested to this guy that he should consider stopping what he was doing, but he was having none of it, and continued. The officers subsequently made a bee-line towards this fellow, physically removed him (a 48 year old male transient) from the scene, arrested him, took him to jail, and booked him for assault and battery, resisting arrest and public intoxication.
Strolling Through Sears.
Saturday, June 27, 2:15 p.m. Officers went to Sears at the 300 Block of Colorado, not to shop for bargains, but in response to a theft report. When they arrived at Sears they got the story from the Sears security guy, and this is how it went: A woman had entered the store with a baby and a baby stroller. The woman had collected some clothing (ladies’ fashions) and entered a dressing room. The woman left the dressing room but it appeared, without the clothes. The clothes however were not to be found in the dressing room. The woman then went to the children’s department of the store and bought a baby pant set. The woman then strolled around the store and was seen taking some baby shoes and placing them on the feet of her baby, and continued to collect more items of clothing and put them in the stroller. She was also seen unwrapping a rattle and handing it to the baby (does that make the baby an accomplice?). This woman then took all of the items she had placed in the stroller and put them in the bag of the items that she had actually purchased. She then left the store without paying for those items. This woman was arrested, taken to jail and booked for the crime of petty theft of items to the value of $141.89.