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Wednesday, September 9, 12:13 p.m. Officers were called to the 200 block of The Santa Monica Pier in response to a report of threats. When they arrived at the pier the officers were informed that someone had left a number of threats on an answering machine. The officers investigated further and discovered that the suspect in this case was most probably an ex-employee. The cops sprang into action and located this mischievous messenger and arrested him for making these undesired threats. One could say that this 64-year-old white male now has a police record.


Wednesday, September 9, 11:33 a.m. Officers received a report of an assault in the area of 17th Street and Pearl, and so went there to see what was going on. Upon arrival the officers spoke with the victim who told them that an ex-roommate had snuck up behind him and whacked him in the back of his head, this action caused the victim to fall to the ground. The suspect then continued to punch him in the head, and then supplemented these punishing blows with a kick or two in the torso. If that wasn’t enough a second guy showed up in order to hold the victim to the ground so that the first suspect could continue these assaults with greater ease. This vicious assault climaxed when the first guy slammed the victim’s head into the ground, causing a laceration to said head. The suspects then fled the scene after a bystander had yelled at them to stop. The cops, however, got hold of these two thugs a short distance away. Both of these guys (one male black, aged 21, and another male black, aged 24) were arrested and booked for assault to commit great bodily injury.

The Door Was Locked

Thursday, September 19, 12:51 p.m. At the aforementioned date and time an employee of The Santa Monica Police Department was riding his bicycle in parking structure #1 located at 1200 4th Street when he noticed a guy trying to open a door of a silver Toyota Sienna. Normal, one may assume, but hold on, when this guy saw the SMPD employee, he began to leave the area (that’s suspicious). This black male, aged 39, of no fixed abode, was eventually detained, and later arrested for attempted auto burglary, thus allowing a silver Toyota Sienna to be driven away by its rightful owner for another day.

The Doors Were Locked

Friday, September 11th 7:23 p.m. Officers responded to the 2200 block of 29th Street after receiving a report of people attempting to break into other peoples’ automobiles. When the cops arrived the victim informed them that he had seen two guys walking around outside his place. He continued to look and noticed that one of these guys was attempting to open the door of a BMW SUV, but without success. These two guys then went to the victim’s car and one of them attempted to open the door, again without success. These two guys appeared to be communicating with each other using facial expressions, gesticulations, and mouth movement. The cops went in search of these two “auto examiners” and found them a short distance away. They arrested these guys, one male Latino aged 18, and one white male juvenile, and they were booked for auto tampering, and probation violation.

He Jumped Into The Box!

Saturday, September 12, 12:06 a.m. Officers went to the Jack In The Box fast food establishment, not to dine, but in response to a disturbance report. Upon arrival, the officers were told that a recently terminated employee had returned to the business appearing to be drunk. The suspect had then left the building and walked to the drive-thru window, whereupon he had jumped through this window and had started to harass the drive-thru attendant as well as other employees. The suspect then jumped from the employee side of the counter to the customer side of the counter (just like a real jack-in-the-box?). When the officers arrived, this guy “bounced,” but was caught a short distance away. The cops arrested this male Latino, aged 28, for trespassing. Let’s hope he doesn’t try to jump bail.

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