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Alert: Police Blotter:

An Appetite For Trouble.

Wednesday, December 2, 1:30 a.m. Officers were called to O’Brien’s Bar and Restaurant, located in the 2900 block of Main Street, at this late hour, in order to investigate a report of a 537(A) PC, or in layman’s terms, an attempt to defraud an innkeeper. When they arrived, an employee of O’Brien’s dished up the lowdown about what had occurred. The employee said that a woman had ordered food and drinks, that came to a total of $185.64 (very hungry and thirsty?), but had refused to pay the bill. Officers spoke to this evidently satiated woman, who explained to them that she was bereft of a credit card, or cash, with which to pay her bill. She requested that the cops drive her home so that she could get the funds with which to satisfy her debt. These kind cops agreed, and took her to her home. When they arrived she came clean, and admitted that she did not have any way to pay the bill, anyway. The cops couldn’t stomach any more of this, and served her up with a trip to jail, and so this White, 37-year-old female was thus charged with defrauding an innkeeper. Her bail was $500.00.

Call 9-1-1, I’m Cold!

Thursday, December 3, 12:30 a.m. Officers went to a parking structure located at the 1300 block of 2nd Street in order to assist the Fire Department. When they arrived, they parked their police vehicle, and got out to speak with the paramedics. These paramedics explained that the suspect in question had been calling 9-1-1 to report a complication with an injury that he claimed to have had. The paramedics explained that the night before, this guy had called many times to complain about pain, and the paramedics had taken him to an area emergency room whereupon doctors had examined him, and concluded that there was absolutely nothing wrong with him physically. The suspect, after some painless questioning, admitted that, being without a fixed abode, he had made the calls in order to benefit from the warmth that would be afforded to him by a stay in the hospital, given that it was a very cold night. Instead, he was given the opportunity to benefit from the relative warmth of a jail cell, but also the pain of a citation, as the cops arrested this White, 48-year-old male transient, for abuse of an emergency 9-1-1 phone line.

Let Me Ask You A Question.

Thursday, December 3, 10:02 p.m. Picture the scene, a lady is walking in an easterly direction in the 700 block of Arizona Avenue, when she comes upon a man and a woman sitting on the ground. She walks past them, but as she does so the woman sitting on the ground yells, “Why the **** are you looking at my man?” Well, this lady was not prepared to grace such an impertinent question with any kind of answer, so she just kept walking, eastbound. She suddenly felt a shove from behind, and turned to see that it was the woman who, moments before had posed the question; ”Why the **** are you looking at my man,” had been the one to shove her. She called the law, and the law came. After a citizen’s arrest had been enacted by the lady who had been asked, “Why the**** are you looking at my man,” the cops took this White, 44 year old “inquisitive” female transient off to jail (why the **** are you arresting me?), and charged her with assault and battery, and violation of probation. Her “man” was left behind, perhaps to be looked at by other passing ladies. Bail, by the way, was twenty grand.

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