The Three Stooges
Tuesday, December 8, 9:56 p.m. This case involves a trio of persons whom, for the sake of this report, we shall call “Larry,” “Moe,” and “Curly.” “Moe” (female victim) had been with “Larry” and “Curly” at the beach, partaking in some libations, when “Moe” and “Curly” got into an argument (the socio-political implications of the decision of developing countries to walk out of the Copenhagen climate talks this week, perhaps?). “Larry” (suspect) decided that he had some important viewpoints that he felt needed to be included in this argument. “Moe” disagreed, and told “Larry” to stay out of the “discussion.” “Larry” and “Moe’s” disagreement evolved into a physical altercation (fight), and “Larry” then produced a knife, and threatened “Moe” with it. “Curly” stepped back in to the fray at this point, and with a “United Nations” style approach, broke up the fight, resulting in “Larry” apologizing to “Moe” (a peace treaty?). “Moe” left the scene, but desired just retribution, and so asked a passer-by to call the police. The police arrived, and found “Larry” a short distance away. “Larry,” a White male, aged 23, of Long Beach, was thus arrested and booked for assault with a deadly weapon. Bail: $30,000.
Wednesday, December 9, 6:23 p.m. Officers were called to the 1500 block of 5th Street regarding a person brandishing a knife. When they arrived they spoke with the victim, in this instance the female apartment manager. She said that a resident of the apartment block had become distraught after discovering that his pillow had been stolen from the dryer in the building. This guy was not about to put this incident to rest and demanded that the apartment manager immediately review the security camera recordings, in order to identify the pillow pinching person. This chap, still unwilling to let sleeping dogs lie, then grabbed a butcher’s knife from the common kitchen area of the building and began waving it in a frenzied fashion just a couple of feet away from the apartment manager. The manager then retreated to the office and called the cops. This male Hispanic, aged 59, was placed under citizen’s arrest for branding a knife, arrested, and booked for brandishing a knife. Bail: $25,000.
He Was **** Out Of Luck
Thursday, December 10, 10:19 p.m. This is a case of a man who had decided that he wanted to express himself in an unorthodox way. What had happened was that a city employee had witnessed this suspect enter a public bathroom at the 200 block of Santa Monica Pier, and then leave. This employee, with other city workers, then went into the public bathroom and discovered that this visitor had smeared feces throughout the stall, toilet, handles, as well as outside the stall. The cops were subsequently called and found this Black male transient and arrested him for vandalism (no s**t!). He was not eligible for bail.
Friday, December 11, 8:25 p.m. Officers were on patrol in the 1300 block of Third Street Promenade when they heard a person yelling obscenities at other people. The officers tried to chat to this guy about his problem, but his answer to them was to become verbally and physically confrontational. The officers had no choice, they had to arrest this guy for a 148(A)(1) PC, or in other words, interfering and obstructing the police with their responsibilities. His bail was $10,000.00.
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