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Alert: Police Blotter:

Intoxicated.

Friday, March 5, 11:36 p.m. Officers received a report of an intoxicated (presumably intoxicated by alcohol, or some other mood altering substance, as opposed to being intoxicated by power, or lust etc.) person, who was intoxicated in the 1500 block of Franklin Street. When they arrived, they looked around and spotted the intoxicated person (presumably this intoxicated person stood out from other citizens, by their behavior, that usually includes such tell-tale signs as stumbling around, waving of the arms, and shouting nonsensical comments), and determined that said intoxicated person was incapable of looking after himself. The officers prepared to transport this intoxicated person, to jail, but in doing so noticed that he was carrying a portable digital video disc player (perhaps he was going to watch “The Hangover”?). The officers thought that that was suspicious, and asked him to prove that it was his player. He could not! The man (homeless) was thus arrested for public intoxication and possession of stolen property. Bail: Twenty Thousand Dollars.

In Brief.

Friday, March 5, 3:40 p.m. The location: Rite-Aid, at the 2400 block of Pico Boulevard. The Crime: Theft. The Suspect: A woman. The Goods: Cosmetics. The Value: $52.28. The Evidence: Loss personnel of the store saw the woman take the cosmetics from their packaging, and hide them upon her person, then leave the store without paying. The Result: The cops arrested this Culver City female for burglary. The Bail: Twenty grand.

Sisters Are Doing It For Themselves.

Friday, March 5, 6:15 p.m. Cops rushed to Sears, located at the 300 block of Colorado Avenue because a person was attempting to steal things, and that, as we all know, is not allowed. When they arrived, the store detectives told the cops that a pair of suspects (females, who happened to be sisters) had been in the children’s clothing section, and one sister had been removing tags from clothes, whilst the other had been placing the clothes in a shopping bag (no sibling rivalry here). The sisters then left the store without paying for said children’s clothes. The store detectives then stopped these sisters outside of the store, and told them that the game was up, and they were “busted!” The cops accepted a citizen’s arrest, as enacted by the store detectives, and obligingly arrested these sisters for theft of children’s clothing items valued at $107.96. Their bail was $1000.00.


TIM BROUGHTON

Mirror Contributing Writertim@smmirror.com

in Uncategorized
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