I’ll Do Anything To Go To Albertson’s
Thursday, April 29, 2:25 p.m. Officers went to the Albertson’s store on Lincoln Boulevard in response to an assault report that had been radioed to them. Upon arrival, the officers spoke with the victim, who, in this instance was the security guard for the store. The security guard stated that he had been ensuring security in the parking lot when he spotted a man trying to enter the store. The guard recognized this chap as had been told on many previous occasions that he needed to leave the area of Albertson’s because he was not wanted there (an “undesirable?”). The guard again requested that he leave, so he did. However, a short time later this enthusiastic encroacher returned, this time though, he had taken the time and “trouble” to become intoxicated before doing so. Again, the guard requested that this man depart, but on this occasion the guy became abusive and argumentative, culminating in a death threat being purveyed from the guy to the guard. The man then removed something from his pocket, and it was at this time that the cops were called. The officers located this gentleman, aged 45, and not in residence, a short distance away. Needless to say, he was arrested and booked for criminal threats, public intoxication and the ubiquitous warrants. His bail is $51,032.
Saturday, May 1, 8:08 p.m. A man was riding his bicycle on the sidewalk in the 1500 block of Colorado Avenue, and this act was noticed by officers of SMPD, who decided to take action to stop this offence. As the officers were chatting with this man they happened to locate some narcotic paraphernalia upon his person (how very clever!). This equipment consisted of hypodermic needle, cotton balls, and a lighter (one assumes it was the presence of the syringe that categorized the other items as “drug paraphernalia”). The officers investigated some more (they were on a roll by now, it seems!) and found some Xanax pills on the subject. The cops took him to jail where they could search him more thoroughly, and low and behold they found some marijuana. This really did the guy in because not only was he charged with possession of narcotic paraphernalia, possession of marijuana, possession of a controlled substance without a prescription, and municipal codes, but also with bringing narcotics into the jail! This 30-year-old’s bail: $25,000.
Double Trouble Parking
Saturday, May 1, 10:02 p.m. Officers were driving down Main Street when some citizens flagged them down at the 2000 block, near a restaurant. The citizens told the cops that a man had parked his car about three feet away from the curb, appeared to be intoxicated, and had entered the restaurant. The citizens then pointed the man out to the cops. The cops entered the restaurant and spoke to the driver. The driver claimed that his wife had been driving (would that be a plausible reason for atrocious parking?), but the cops investigated, and concluded that this was not the case (was there even a wife, one asks?). The cops believed that the driver had been driving while using some type of opiate. Officers arrested the suspect, a 54-year-old male of Santa Monica, for driving under the influence. His bail is $5,000.
Mirror Contributing Writertim@smmirror.com