August 12, 2022 Breaking News, Latest News, and Videos

Showbiz Buzz: ‘Desperate Housewives’ Violin Drama, Cameron To Unleash 5-D, And Oprah Walks Promenade:

“Desperate Housewives” Viewers In Court Over Pizzicato Violins

Lawyers representing a class action suit by viewers of the TV drama “Desperate Housewives” will argue in court this week that the overuse of pizzicato violin music in the show causes severe stress and mental anguish to those who stay with the program a full hour. Citing a study at Cornell in which hamsters exposed to the show’s musical score were driven to eat each other in a matter of minutes caused…

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James Cameron To Unleash 5-D

James Cameron held a conference call with reporters this week from inside his mini-sub some 30,000 leagues under the polar ice cap to announce that his next project, “Robot Death Battalion 9000” will be filmed using his new 5-D process which allows moviegoers to experience “all five dimensions of reality.”

Asked to clarify how the process works, Cameron said, “There have been only three dimensions to life so far. I am inventing two more, to make five.” When a reporter noted that adding new dimensions to life might be the work of God, Cameron smiled and replied, “If that’s how you see it, fine.” Cameron has been largely out of sight the last few months, having stored his ego in a blimp hangar…

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Oprah Walks Promenade; Nobody Notices

Talk show host and media mogul Oprah Winfrey made a surprise appearance on the Third Street Promenade last week and was confounded by the complete lack of reaction on the part of everyone. Despite efforts to draw attention to her that included doing a ‘spittake’ with her Mocha Latte Extra Whipped Cream during a performance by Promenade street entertainer Emo Singer Number 7, Winfrey was startled that not one person seemed to give a hoot in hell that she was there. After walking the entire Promenade 23 times, Winfrey was approached by a young woman who asked her for “Gail’s cell phone number.” Winfrey then ran screaming into Chipolte Grill,where she ordered three burritos and a giant ‘side’ of…

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