January 24, 2022 Breaking News, Latest News, and Videos

Whole Foods To Offer Financing:

By Harry Backe/Assembled Press

Officials for Whole Foods have announced a new program that will allow shoppers strapped for cash at the register to apply for financing on the spot.

Called “EZ Eatin’ Cash,” a shopper,realizing that they do not have enough in their personal savings to write a check for heirloom tomatoes or olive oil that comes in a platinum sprayer, can apply for a loan at 37 percent. Asked about the high interest rate, a Whole Foods spokesman pointed to the sign out in front of the store. “You see what that says? Does that say A&P? Does that say “Red Owl”? I don’t think so.”

The move to provide shoppers financing coincides with another Whole Foods program that allows shoppers to travel to France to buy fresh bread by means of a “teleportation pod” similar to those featured in “The Fly” movies. “Although on these babies, we got the kinks out!” joked…

More April Fool’s Day stories on smmirror.com.

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