July 15, 2025 Breaking News, Latest News, and Videos

Is The Movie “Her”… Or Us?:

I’ll hope to not inject any spoilers here, but Spike Jonze’s film “Her” is well worth the effort to catch now in theaters for several reasons. I think it can be valuable to feel a theater audience experience the journey of the central character played by Joaquin Phoenix as the story moves forward. And then to overhear reactions as that audience leaves the theater chatting about a film that does a pretty good job of examining that thing we most often call “love.”

“Her” is set ambiguously in some future time. Many reviewers have posited that it’s about 20 years from now, and the film itself has a superb production design that mixes the familiar with elements clearly not yet part of our lives. But this ‘futuristic’ setting may actually be a clever device that causes viewers to recognize how much of the story is about us and the time we live in right now.

In “Her,” Phoenix’s character Theodore Twombly is shown working his job, which is to pour his real emotions into the crafting of personal letters written for “clients” who are unable to say what’s in their hearts by writing the letters themselves. We come to like Twombly by way of the sensitive text he creates, and thus we’re pulling for him to figure out his love life even as the story begins going down its digital path.

Twombly downloads a new operating system for his computer. When the new “OS” introduces itself in a female voice, Twombly and the operating system begin learning about each other and eventually both become convinced they have fallen in love. In the future of “Her,” computer/phones are the size of a stylized cigarette case with a lens for capturing what’s going on around the user, allowing the OS to go everywhere with Twombly and become a companion. Except that unlike contemporary digital social phenomena such as full-grown men developing a crush on a particular porn star, Twombly is open about the relationship with his friends and co-workers. He learns of others having a similar experience and there is no apparent oddness to his going on “dates” with the OS and in more than one way experiencing “sex” with his new lover.

But far from being a science fiction story, watching this romance develop in “Her” takes us through what amounts to a series of questions about what “love” is, what makes it work, and what we want in an intimate relationship. We get plenty of movies representing people in love; there are far fewer examining and questioning the actual pathology of love.

How credible is the premise of “Her”? Who among us, with the possible exception of Governor Chris Christie, does not at some level seek to be loved unconditionally? To be “loved” by your OS would likely mean no unpleasant discussions about your weight or your hair falling out, or whether your career is going well. The OS in “Her” is without a body and never asks Twombly if her software makes her butt look big or is she’s wrong to be having coffee with her buff male yoga instructor. Although deeper into the film, it rocks Twombly when she admits to not being exclusive with him.

As Americans integrate late 20th to 21st century social changes such as the acceptance of several divorces in one’s romantic resume or the time-saving efficacy of looking for partners at online sites promising “the most marriages,” it seems probable that we have a lot of questions about love itself. How good can it get? Are regular arguments the sign of a relationship’s health or trouble? And then there’s the crucible of sexual fidelity, which while long standing as a kind of warranty on love, arguably doesn’t ‘work’ when put alongside statistics based on real behaviors.

“Her” takes us on a date Twombly has with a real woman, one that crumbles when questions related to whether having sex will mean some level of commitment or just capping the evening. That Twombly turns that disaster into a deepening of his relationship with his OS suggests that the tidiness of a relationship without physical dimensions is at least convenient. We already live that way, with our device-driven communications to friends and even lovers that don’t require us to be there… or to touch.  Later in “Her” there’s a clumsy effort to insert a human surrogate and – well, see the film.   

Although I’ve just had a major birthday I’m still impressed with the number of my similar age male friends who seem unable to craft lasting relationships with women, or in a nod to our new world of love, let’s just say others. One is tempted to conclude that perhaps not everyone is capable of figuring out how to sustain a long-term relationship, but then I often tell my buddies that everybody deserves love. Maybe that’s just me being supportive, about something that can’t be known or experienced until it’s actually known or experienced. But I stand by that, even if 20 years from now some may ultimately find what they are looking for in a downloadable program.

in Opinion
<>Related Posts

SM.a.r.t.Column: Happy Fourth of July 

July 2, 2025

July 2, 2025

SMart (Santa Monica Architects for a Responsible Tomorrow) hopes you are enjoying a great 3-day weekend as part of your...

SM.a.r.t Column: Cities That Never Shut Up – The Roaring Cost of Urban Noise

June 26, 2025

June 26, 2025

In today’s cities, silence isn’t golden—it’s extinct. From sunrise to insomnia, we’re trapped in a nonstop symphony of shrieking car...

SM.a.r.t Column: Santa Monica Needs to See the Light

June 19, 2025

June 19, 2025

How Santa Monica’s Growing Light Pollution Is Eroding Human Health, Safety, and Sanity There was a time when our coastal...

SM.a.r.t Column: California’s Transit Death Spiral: How Housing Mandates Are Backfiring

June 15, 2025

June 15, 2025

California’s ambitious housing mandates were supposed to solve the affordability crisis. Instead, they’re creating a vicious cycle that’s killing public...

SM.a.r.t. Column: A City Dying by a Thousand Cuts

June 5, 2025

June 5, 2025

Santa Monica, once celebrated for its blend of coastal charm and progressive ideals, is slowly bleeding out — not from...

SM.a.r.t Column: Oops!! What Happened? And What Are You Going to Do About It?

May 29, 2025

May 29, 2025

Our Santa Monica Architects for a Responsible Tomorrow (SMa.r.t) articles have, over the past 12 years, collectively presented a critical...

SM.a.r.t Column: Why Santa Monica Might Need a Desalination Plant, and Maybe Even Nuclear Power

May 22, 2025

May 22, 2025

Santa Monica is known for its ocean views, sunny skies, and strong environmental values. But there’s a challenge on the...

SM.a.r.t Column: SMO (So Many Options) Part 3: “Pie in the Sky”

May 17, 2025

May 17, 2025

SMO: Fantasy, Fact, and the Fog of Wishful ThinkingBy someone who read the fine print Every few months, a headline...

SM.a.r.t. Column: Owner Occupancy Protects Against Corporate Over-Development

May 2, 2025

May 2, 2025

This week SMa.r.t. will have as guest columnist Mark Borenstein. Mark is a long-time Santa Monica resident, a retired attorney,...

Opinion: Declaration of Economic State of Emergency in Malibu & Pacific Palisades: A Direct Result of the Devastating Impact of the Palisades Fire

April 27, 2025

April 27, 2025

Malibu and Pacific Palisades Request Emergency Financial Measures By Ramis Sadrieh, Chairperson, Malibu Pacific Palisades Chamber of Commerce    On behalf...

SM.a.r.t Column: The World’s Happiest Cities

April 27, 2025

April 27, 2025

Almost every year, we see new cities, regions, and countries that make the list(s) of our planet’s happiest and healthiest...

SM.a.r.t Column: A City for Everyone

April 20, 2025

April 20, 2025

Santa Monica dazzles with its ocean views, sunshine, and laid-back charm. But beyond the postcard image lies a more complicated...

SM.a.r.t Column: Part II: Rebuilding Resilient Communities: Policy and Planning After the Fires

April 13, 2025

April 13, 2025

The January 2025 wildfires that devastated Pacific Palisades and Altadena left an indelible mark on Los Angeles County. Beyond the...

SM.a.r.t Column: Innovative Materials for Fire-Resistant Rebuilding After the LA Fires

April 6, 2025

April 6, 2025

In the aftermath of the devastating 2025 Los Angeles wildfires, homeowners face the daunting task of rebuilding their lives and...

Opinion: Supervisor Lindsey P. Horvath Community Column Regarding a More Accountable Homeless Services System

April 3, 2025

April 3, 2025

By Lindsay Horvath, Los Angeles Board of Supervisors This week marks a significant milestone in our fight to end homelessness...