By Ayma Moron, Assembled Press
Media attention is still focused on last week’s release of startling paparazzi videos that caught Bruce Jenner doing nothing for two entire days in his home.
Public concern ratcheted-up when CBS’ “60 Minutes” aired the footage, showing a lounging Jenner watching TV and solving Sudoku puzzles that had nothing to do with either his mischievous step-daughters or his planned sex change.
CNN Headline News anchor and daughter of Satan Nancy Grace remained on the air for 42 hours as terrified paparazzi looked on in horror at the sedate and inert Jenner.
Although Grace summoned El Pukeo, the Wicca god of yellow journalism, by dripping some of her own blood onto her Louis Vuitton shoulder holster she eventually realized that even her black arts could not motivate the passive Jenner into getting up and creating some free content for her and a breathlessly waiting army of carrion-eaters with cameras who lack one high school diploma between them.
In hour 43, Grace declared her “Jenner Watch” over and immediately began searching the Internet for any indication of missing blond women. In a surprising twist, Jenner later phoned-in a live on-air interview to Grace where he pretended to be OJ Simpson calling from prison with some “new clues as to who killed my ex-wife, since it wasn’t me.”
For more April Fool’s stories, visit https://smmirror.com/sections/April-Fools.