When people think of domestic violence, they typically think of a woman being hurt by a male partner. While it is more common for women to be the victims of intimate partner violence at the hands of a male aggressor, the opposite can also be true. Men, too, experience emotional, mental, and even physical abuse within a relationship, yet they often feel overlooked or silenced by the stigma.
According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, one in seven men aged 18 or above in the U.S. has been the victim of severe physical violence by an intimate partner in his lifetime, and one in 10 men has experienced rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner. In this article, we will explore common signs of domestic abuse against men and offer practical steps they can take to stay safe and seek support.
Barriers to Speaking Out
Despite the numbers, many male victims of domestic violence don’t always come forward. Fear of being judged, disbelieved, or even blamed can keep male victims trapped in silence. Cultural expectations around masculinity can also add pressure, suggesting that men need to be “tough” and not vulnerable.
The fear of being accused of abuse if they try to defend or remove themselves from the situation can also prevent many men from speaking up. In cases where men are falsely accused of domestic violence, it is important to consult a domestic violence defense attorney who can provide legal support in challenging the case against them and protect their legal rights and freedom.
Recognizing the Signs of Domestic Violence
Abuse isn’t always physical. In many cases, male victims of domestic violence suffer from emotional and psychological harm long before their partners become violent. Some common forms of behavior to watch for include:
- Verbal attacks: Constant insults, put-downs, or shaming, especially in public. This can deeply affect a man’s self-esteem and sense of identity.
- Controlling behavior: A partner who displays extreme jealousy, tracks your location, or isolates a man from his friends and family.
- Manipulation: Gaslighting, guilt-tripping, or giving the silent treatment are ways to destabilize and dominate a man’s emotions and actions.
- Limiting freedom: An abusive partner might restrict how a man spends his money, who he talks to, or where he goes. This isolation is often used to make leaving harder.
- Physical violence: This may involve hitting, slapping, pushing, or more dangerous behavior like choking or the use of weapons. Often, physical violence is triggered by alcohol or escalates over time.
Steps to Take if You’re a Victim
If you’re a man experiencing domestic abuse, know that you’re not alone and there are steps you can take to protect yourself:
- Reach out: Contact a domestic abuse hotline or support organization. They can help you plan a safe exit and offer resources, including emergency shelters.
- Document everything: Keep records of the abuse, such as photos of injuries, screenshots of abusive messages, or a journal of incidents. These could be important later if legal action becomes necessary.
- Avoid retaliation: Acting in self-defense can sometimes be used against you. Focus on de-escalation and getting to safety instead.
Recognizing abuse is the first step to seeking help. By taking action, men can feel heard and supported and reclaim their safety, well-being, and dignity.
