CHECK PLEASE!:

MY EX-WIFE TOOK ME TO THE CLEANERS. I am tall, dark and handsome but don’t get any ideas about spending the rest of your life with me. I’d like to meet a really cool, nice woman to hang out with, but I’m not sure any exist. I’ll take you out and we might have a great time. We might even date for a long time, but don’t expect me to tell you that I love you because that has gotten me into too much trouble. I will only introduce you as “my friend” because I don’t ever use the “G” word. Or the “M” word… I’m just not the marrying type. I figured that out when I got my divorce. See you around.

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