TINY SCREEN: The Super Bowl Commercials:

One of the biggest frauds perpetrated in American culture is how the beer companies somehow turned America’s love of the big football game into a way to sell beer better. It was truer this year than it ever has been, with Bud Light showing the Super Bowl’s best commercials. It was a Budweiser day, with the company running more than half of all the ads placed. At some point, people will come to associate Bud itself with the Super Bowl, if it hasn’t happened already.One hundred and forty million Americans watched the Super Bowl, which is why ads cost around $2.5 million per 30 seconds of air-time. That’s some chunk of change that advertisers wouldn’t spend unwisely. These ads work. What is the first thing people do when they prepare for the Super Bowl? Buy beer. Bud wants to make sure they buy THEIR beer, whether it tastes good or not.There is always something to buy for holidays nowadays. A friend joked recently that it won’t be long before the idea behind Martin Luther King Day will be to buy little lollypops in King’s likeness. Candy will have to be worked in somehow, as booze would seem inappropriate.Super Bowl Sunday’s ad offerings were designed to be the best and the most entertaining the advertising world can muster. But were they? Not for my money. Jessica Simpson alternating with Miss Piggy to sell Pizza Hut’s “pizza poppers” was the kind of ad that gets stuck in a loop in your head because it’s sung to the tune of the great Nancy Sinatra’s “These Boots are Made for Walking.”It wasn’t only Sinatra’s own good name that was smeared. There was also a Paul McCartney commercial (yeah, like he doesn’t have enough money, so he has to whore himself out on Super Bowl Sunday) and Leonard Nimoy spoofing himself in another ad. No one seemed to mind being put in front of America’s biggest audience, so why not? It takes money to make money.The ads themselves essentially boiled down to humor, sex and beer. The sex came in the form of scantily clad, gun-toting bimbos washing a car in a series of ads that kept being interrupted and then resumed in order to build anticipation. And there was the Go Daddy girl, complete with her gigantic fake ones in a top that threatened to break loose in an infamous wardrobe malfunction. Adding a subtle theme for the afternoon was off-color, or “dark” humor, like a pretty girl getting tackled so hard she goes unconscious. Or one very surreal animal football game involving a shorn sheep, leading one cowboy to mutter to another, “I really didn’t need to see that.” Most of the year, Americans go out of their way to avoid commercials but one day of the year they get giddy with anticipation for the ads so much so that they actually go online to watch them before the game even airs. The day after the big event, everyone was buzzing about Budweiser’s ads. If you missed the ads you can watch them on iFilm.com, which many did. Here are their top ten best commercials:Cave Man by Fed ExHidden Fridge by Anheuser BushJunior Clydesdale by Anheuser Bush Grizzly Bear by Anheuser BushEmployee Incentive Plan by Anheuser Bush MacGyver by MasterCardStreaker Sheep by Anheuser BushAirport Security by Sierra MistI’m Going to Disney World by DisneyMedical Misunderstanding by AmeriquestWhile Fed Ex had the number one, look at how well Anheuser Bush (Budweiser) did. If so many people remember the commercials, it makes you wonder why people bother watching the game? Why not just TIVO it and fast-forward the ads? But then it becomes all too apparent. Many of the people who get together to watch the Super Bowl aren’t really watching it at all, especially if they’re just not that into football. So what do they do? They tune out the game and tune in the commercials. And that, my friends, is how you sell beer on Super Bowl Sunday.Notable TV This Week Turner Classic Movies’ 31 Days of Oscar continues thus week with classic films – all nominated for or winners of Oscars. Some are listed here. For the complete schedule, go to www.turnerclassicmovies.com Thursday, February 2The Mirror Has Two Faces (**), 7:30 p.m., WE.Survivor: Panama, 8 p.m., CBS.Swingers (***), 8 p.m., IFC.Japanland, 9 p.m., ABC.North by Northwest (****), 10:15 p.m., TCM.Friday, February 3XX Olympics, 8 p.m., NBC.Scarface (***), 8 p.m., BRAVO.The Day the Earth Stood Still (***), 8 p.m., AMC.Dr. Strangelove: Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (****), 9:45 p.m., TCM.Saturday, February 4Kramer Vs. Kramer (****), 7:30 p.m., TCM.The River Wild (***), 7:30 p.m., AMC.The Green Mile (**), 8 p.m., ABC.Ice Age (***), 8 p.m., FX.Terminator 2 (***), 8 p.m., BRAVO.Sunday, February 5 XX Olympics, 7:30 p.m., NBC.The Bridges of Madison County (***), 8 p.m., TCM.Inside the Actors Studio: Dave Chapelle, 8 p.m., BRAVO.Rambo: First Blood (***), 8 p.m., AMC.Monday, February 6Die Mommy Die (**), 7:30 p.m., LOGO. The Verdict (***), 7:30 p.m., FMC.Goldfinger (***), 8 p.m., AMC.Twelve Angry Men (****), 8:45 p.m., TCM.Tuesday, February 7A Charlie Brown Valentine, 8 p.m., ABC.Commander in Chief 9 p.m., ABC. Dr. Phil Primetime Special: love Smart, 9 p.m., CBS.The Devil and Miss Jones (****), 9 p.m., TCM.Wednesday, February 8Raggedy Man (***), 7:30 p.m., SUNDANCE. The Blitz: London’s Longest Night, 9 p.m., KCET.9 to 5 (****), 9 p.m., SUNDANCE.Born Yesterday (****), 9 p.m., TCM.