September 22, 2020 Breaking News, Latest News, and Videos

Alert: Police Blotter:

Care For Some Coffee, Or Something A Little Stronger?

On Thursday, July 8, at 4:14 p.m., officers went to the 1300 block of Third Street in response to an assault report. When they arrived they were informed of the sequence of events, and here is what they heard:

A man had become upset with another person and as a result of this had decided to pick up a cup of coffee in order to throw it at the offending person. The coffee was thrown, however the vast majority of it missed the target and instead struck some innocent bystanders. These innocent people were between seven and 13 years old. Some witnesses attempted to restrain the coffee-thrower, but this beverage bandit produced a taser and held it at his side (don’t taze me man!). The suspect fled the location. The cops were stimulated into action, and located this guy a short distance away. The suspect, 32 years old, of Los Angeles, was arrested for assault with a deadly weapon and a warrant. His bail is $35,035.

She Was Given The Elbow

On Friday, July 9, at 1:07 p.m., officers heard about an assault and battery taking place at the 700 block of Pico Boulevard, and so rushed there in order to sort it out. When they arrived they spoke with the victim, who gave them the low-down on what had gone-down. She said that she had mounted the bus and went to sit down behind a woman, who a short time later would become what is know as the “suspect” in this case.

As she was performing the act of sitting, and whilst chatting on her cell-phone, the suspect used her left elbow and struck the victim in the face with it. The victim then immediately went to the driver of the bus and requested that the cops be called. The cops were called (as we know from the first lines of this report) and, given that the victim was desirous of prosecution, the suspect was placed under citizen’s arrest. The police completed these proceedings by taking this 32-year-old woman to jail whereupon she was charged with assault and battery, probation violation and a warrant. Her bail is $25,000.

Probably Not “The Bachelor”

On Saturday, July 10, at 11:16 a.m., officers again went to the 700 block of Pico Boulevard, this time in response to a domestic violence report. When they arrived they spoke with the victim, who explained that she was in a dating relationship with the suspect, a 37-year-old man. She also told the cops that she was three months pregnant (one assumes, but can never be sure, that the man in question is the other party involved in the existence of said fetus).

The victim stated that she had been waiting for a bus to take her to Santa Monica College in order to hopefully find a job, at a job fair that was taking place there. The suspect had at that point become upset and started yelling at the suspect (“you better get a job soon,” possibly?). The victim, apparently displeased with the content of the yelling, then spat at the suspect, and began to walk away. The victim then turned towards the suspect, who then kicked her on the shin, and followed that up with three to four punches to the face.

Witnesses had by then called the cops and the suspect had waited around for the police to arrive. The suspect, from Los Angeles, was arrested for infliction of injury on a person. His bail is $50,000.

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