March 4, 2024 Breaking News, Latest News, and Videos

Valentine’s Day Massacre: The Worst Gifts To Give Your Valentine:

It is that time of year, when the sonnets reign supreme, flowers are blooming in the hands of eager suitors and partners, and sweetness is expressed in the form of boxes of chocolates. However, it can also be a day of inadvertent faux pas if the gift you give sends the wrong message, so let’s take a quick look at some of the things that you might NOT want to give to the “one you love.”

Improve Upon Improvement Gifts

Although they are very useful and practical, a set of bathroom scales is sure to send the wrong message to your valentine. Equally, a subscription to Jenny Craig, or any diet plan, is the best way to say, “I love you, but wish there was less to adore,” and is sure to go down like a lead balloon, as is a membership to the local gym!

Self-help books are very popular, and can be very helpful, but as a Valentine’s day gift it would be better to tell your loved one that they have some personality disorders that need attending to. Not very helpful at all on Feb. 14.

Ladies do not, and the emphasis is on not, be tempted to hand your guy a male enhancement product. This gift will be interpreted as a belittling gesture that will not make him happy, and a break up will surely loom large on the horizon.

No One Likes Home Work

As a gift for her, nothing expresses the appreciation of her ability to keep the house clean than a new vacuum cleaner (“honey, this one has all of the attachments!”). It’s not the kind of romantic gesture that she will appreciate, for sure. Also, house tools for him are guaranteed to provoke a sullen expression on his face this Feb. 14.

Cooking classes as a gift for her will simply say, “I can’t stomach your food,” and you may well end up eating humble pie after she opens that particular envelope.

Poor Entertainment

A DVD of that romantic comedy that he pretended to like is a definite no-no. It may have seemed to be appreciated on that particular romantic evening some time ago, but odds are that his claim to have loved it was probably an effort simply to make you feel good. Guys, try not to fall into the temptation of buying her a video game for YOUR console, even after you claim that Grand Theft Auto will “bring us closer if we play it together,” you’ll find that it will subsequently be easier to actually steal a car, than steal her heart!

One Size Doesn’t Fit All

If you insist upon buying items of clothing, be sure to make sure that the size is correct. Buying too large, or too small, will send the wrong message, and ensure that your partner will be sizing you up in a less than endearing way.

Living Nightmare

Whatever you decide to get, absolutely avoid getting her, or him, a puppy. Puppies become dogs, dogs need a lot of care and attention, and in no time at all it will be you living in the doghouse, possibly for a very long time! Giving the one you love an origami kit is like saying, “enjoy yourself, by yourself.” It will be you who will be playing solitaire after that presentation.

So, it seems that if you want to play it safe, those traditional staples of chocolates, flowers and perhaps tasteful jewelry are still the best, and most loving way to express your affection. And of course, that romantic dinner for two is always going to be appreciated. Just remember to not use the two-for- one coupon on the special night!

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