Hi Anthea!
I’m a 40 something, newly divorced woman and I want to get back into the dating scene. I look great for my age, the problem is the only guys who approach me are much younger. Don’t get me wrong, they are hot and I’m interested, but I’m worried about what other people will think. How young is too young for me to date? Evelyn, 40
Dear Evelyn,
You have nothing to worry about! Who you choose to date and love is your business, and your business only! Too many people are judgmental, and you wouldn’t want them in your life anyway. You cannot please everyone, so stop trying!
If you want an arbitrary yet practical rule you can go by the idea of “The King’s Rule” which is half your age plus seven. So if you are 40, the lowest you could choose to date is 27. If this appeals to you then by all means keep this as a general boundary.
One question to consider is what your dating intention is.
Are you looking for a casual fling, a short term boyfriend, a long term serious relationship, or marriage and children? Everyone is looking for something different just because they are younger doesn’t necessarily mean that they are only interested in something in casual.
You don’t want to accidentally lead someone on and break their heart. So get clear on what you are looking for and find out what their goals are also.
Ultimately you can’t choose who you will have a connection with. There is a certain amount of surrendering that happens when we fall in love. We can’t always plan it out to the last detail. So be open to all your options. Who knows, you may just fall in love with an older guy!
Anthea Kerou is a Certified Holistic Health Coach based in Santa Monica specializing in dating coaching. She is available for private coaching sessions, email antheakerou@gmail.com. Alternatively, visit heartfacewellness.com or facebook.com/heartfacewellness for more information.
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