September 18, 2020 Breaking News, Latest News, and Videos

Obama To Alleviate Traffic On Motorcycle: April Fool’s 2015!

By Bill Leeake, Assembled Press

President Obama, taking heat for all the traffic congestion created when he appears in Los Angeles, has vowed to ride a Harley Davidson Fat Bob motorcycle and weave through traffic on all subsequent visits to LA.

The President assured LA citizens that this move would not only free him to make better time on congested LA streets and freeways, but it would give him a chance to do some “serious carving on a crotch-rocket, around the cherry tops and the Secret Service.”

A Secret Service spokesman said that, due to recent events involving intoxicated driving by agents, the President’s guards would be allowed to accompany him only by riding humiliating pink Vespa Scooters with bells on the handlebars.  

Obama added that “Harley’s Fat Bob allows you to adjust the suspension to your riding style with a spanner wrench, for a more laid-back riding position.  And she is ‘on rails’ in the corners, dude. I mean, I’ve always been a fan of flatheads, but they don’t make them anymore. So for me to be flogging it on the 405, that Twin Cam 103 engine makes the statement.”

Vice-President Joe Biden said that he had been in discussions with the President about Obama’s use of a motorcycle in busy LA traffic, but that “POTUS simply has more torque on this issue. I think as long as he watches out for road gators, slows down on the twisties, and doesn’t horizontally park… if you know what I mean… he’ll be fine.”

For more April Fool’s stories, visit https://smmirror.com/sections/April-Fools.

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