May 7, 2024 Breaking News, Latest News, and Videos

Starbucks “Evening” Adds Mermaid Servers To Santa Monica Outlets:

By Rezzi Dent / Assembled Press

Following the introduction of wine and beer “Evenings” offerings at 26 of its outlets nationwide, coffee giant Starbucks has announced that three of its Santa Monica outlets will now feature female servers in “fitness-forward” outfits echoing their Mermaid logo art.  

“I don’t give a hooter where people think we got this idea!” declared Starbucks western states spokesman Lester Decaff. “These will be intelligent, highly educated women. We’re not just adding a bunch of boobs to our stores. Wait, let me rephrase that…”

Starbucks initially created a stir when a press release touting “Sea Nymph-omania!” drew unwanted attention from women’s rights organization across the country.

A statement from NOW spokesperson Sheila Angst claimed that Starbucks was “deep-sixing respect for women” and added that “the entire concept of “mermaid” servers is fishy and anti-aquarian.” Angst later corrected her statement, claiming she meant to say “antiquarian.”

The Mirror contacted several of the young women already hired by Starbucks to fill the mermaid server positions for comment.

One of those, identifying herself as cult film actress Sabrina Kurves stated, “I don’t see how this is much different than a lot of the movie work I do in the Valley. And on those sets, it’s always difficult to get a good cup of coffee.”

For more April Fool’s stories, visit smmirror.com.

in News
Related Posts

Former L.A. Laker and Windward School Basketball Player Dies at 33

May 7, 2024

May 7, 2024

Windward Was Led by Him to the California Division V State Title His Senior Year By Zach Armstrong Darius Morris, a...

Mass Arrest of UCLA Students and Journalists Creates Uproar and Criticism of UCLA

May 7, 2024

May 7, 2024

Students, Journalists, and Former Mayoral Candidate Among Those Detained UCLA’s Parking Structure 2 was the site of another mass arrest...

A.I. Cameras Aimed at Ticketing Cars Could be Used in Santa Monica

May 6, 2024

May 6, 2024

No Citations via This Method Are Happening Yet By Zach Armstrong Santa Monica is one of a few Los Angeles...

Five-Unit Multi-Family Property Along Venice Canals Hits Market at $7M

May 6, 2024

May 6, 2024

Joint Effort to Share Revenue Marks Milestone in Malibu School District Autonomy An opportunity for both owner/users and investors, this...

(Video) St. Matthew’s Celebrates 75th Anniversary with New Scoreboard, Annual Field Day

May 6, 2024

May 6, 2024

The students were paid a visit by a real-life falcon @smmirrornews St. Matthews is 75 years old #pacificpalisades #palisades #losangeles...

SMMUSD Unveils Community Meeting Dates on Revenue Sharing Agreement

May 5, 2024

May 5, 2024

Joint Effort to Share Revenue Marks Milestone in Malibu School District Autonomy SMMUSD and the City of Malibu have jointly...

Wise & Healthy Aging Goes Gray on Denim Day

May 3, 2024

May 3, 2024

In observance of April’s Sexual Assault Awareness Month, a nonprofit that advances the dignity and quality of life for older...

Beck to Perform at Venice Family Clinic’s Inaugural HEART Gala

May 3, 2024

May 3, 2024

Among the expected talent attendees are Anjelica Huston, Chuck Lorre, Elisabeth Shue, Richard Chamberlain, Robby Krieger, Tom Morello Venice Family...

Santa Monica Mayor Joins Karen Bass in Urgent Talks on Homelessness Crisis

May 3, 2024

May 3, 2024

City Leaders Lobby Federal Lawmakers for Solutions During Washington DC Visit Santa Monica Mayor Phil Brock joined Los Angeles Mayor...

UCLA Faculty Group Demands Amnesty for Palestine Protesters, Issues Statement of Support

May 3, 2024

May 3, 2024

Faculty Calls for Legal Protection After Violent Crackdown on Campus Demonstration A group of UCLA faculty members have issued a...

(Video) New Interactive Kiosk Gives Downtown Passerby Details on Local Attractions, Public Transit

May 3, 2024

May 3, 2024

The Kiosk Will Reportedly Give the City of Santa Monica 50% of Revenue @smmirrornews The Kiosks are a new fun...

Police Seek Suspect Who Burglarized Downtown Santa Monica Office Building

May 2, 2024

May 2, 2024

The Building Houses the Offices of a Legal Services Company and a Local Newspaper By Zach Armstrong An investigation is...

Human Rights Play Center Stage with Two Award-Winning Films Opening this Weekend at Laemmle Monica Film Center

May 2, 2024

May 2, 2024

Cinema Libre Studio, a Burbank-based independent distribution company with a focus on social issue films, has two powerful films opening...

UCLA Gaza Solidarity Encampment Dismantled After Night of Counter Protesters’ Violence

May 2, 2024

May 2, 2024

LAPD and Other Agencies Sent in For “Student Safety”, Students Arrested  The UCLA Gaza Solidarity Encampment was removed during the...

UCLA Gaza Solidarity Encampment Attacked by Counter-Protesters During the Night/Early Morning Hours

May 2, 2024

May 2, 2024

Violence Erupts as Demonstrators Face Aggression During Tense Overnight Attacks On the night and early morning of April 30 into...