September 26, 2020 Breaking News, Latest News, and Videos

The Santa Monica Mirror Adds New “Not Appearing” Listing Feature:

By Hung Low / Assembled Press

The Santa Monica Mirror will soon add a new regular feature that lists the names of celebrities who will not be appearing at benefit events for local schools.

Mirror features editor Oscar Typeoh believes the new feature, “Not Gonna Make It!” will be a huge time saver.

According to Typeoh, “It’s much easier to let readers know which celebrities are NOT going to be at benefit events in Santa Monica than to list all the ones that are showing up.”

Typeoh said the ‘premiere week’ edition of the list of those not appearing at any local benefits will include John Wayne, Marcel Marceau, Red Buttons, Lassie, Waldo from “Where’s Waldo,” Tennessee Ernie Ford, the Kraken, the “Gangnam Style” guy, and Skeletor.

Typeoh added that a related feature called “Best Bets” would include celebrities most likely to appear at every benefit, but that he was still working on “getting approval from Sheryl Crow’s people.”

For more April Fool’s stories, visit smmirror.com.

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