July 18, 2025 Breaking News, Latest News, and Videos

The Dating Report: Leading In A Relationship:

Hi Anthea,

I’ve been dating a girl for about a month that I really like, but I feel like it’s too much of a one way street as I’m always the first to contact her to set up dates. We always have a great time when we’re together, but I’m confused when I leave a few days to a week to wait for her to text me first, but she never does. However, as soon as I text her, she always says yes to seeing me again. What should I do? – James, 27

Hi James!

Thanks for your question! I can definitely offer some clues as to what may be going on here.

Firstly, I’m assuming that you were the initial initiator in the relationship. Meaning you saw her, were attracted, and asked her out.

Then you have established you are the leader, the masculine force, the pursuer. Now you are expecting her to lead? It may be a bit confusing to her. So far she has been following your lead.

What is it you want? For her to check in with you to just say hi? For her to call you to talk about your day? For her to ask you out on a date? For her to actually plan the dates? Do you want her to also pay for the dates she plans? See there are sorts of expectations that need to be communicated.

Some people believe that whoever does the asking also does the paying, so she may be reluctant to offer to wine and dine a man. This doesn’t feel natural to most women. In general, more equal giving happens in stable, committed relationships, not casual dating.

You must decide if you want her to lead more. Tell her outright you want her to call you. That it would make your day to know if/when she’s thinking about you. Ask her how she would feel about that.

Why are you testing her by waiting to see if she will call you? Why play games? If you want to see her again why not call right away? If you want to know how she feels about you – ask!

If the relationship is not established/committed then she may not assume you will see each other ever again.

If she is a high quality woman than she is definitely dating other guys. She’s busy and in demand. She’s not waiting around for you to ask her out, think of it from her perspective – she has no idea if she will ever see you again if you don’t have any plans already set up. So she is just saying yes to her other offers. It’s not in a woman’s best interests to chase or pursue a man.

She may have no idea of your level of interest, especially if you are being wishy washy in your pursuit by waiting to see if she will call you. She may simply think you are not interested. Enough of this behavior and she will move on to someone who is showing more consistent interest.

Make sure she knows you’re interested by always having future plans with her. Having actual, concrete plans will make her feel more secure in the relationship. To a woman – no plans = no future.

Perhaps you want a more in charge alpha type woman who will sweep you off your feet? It’s totally okay if you do, just know that there are different types of women out there with different styles. Pursuing a feminine, responsive woman then suddenly expecting her to be a masculine leader and planner is not fair. It’s the old bait and switch.

Any changes to each other’s needs and comforts need to be communicated and delegated with both people agreeing to the new expectations.

Anthea Kerou is a Certified Holistic Health Coach based in Santa Monica specializing in datingcoaching. She is available for private coaching sessions, email antheakerou@gmail.com. Alternatively, visit heartfacewellness.com or facebook.com/heartfacewellness for more information.

• Do you have a dating question you would like answered? Email your question to editor@smmirror.com.

in News
<>Related Posts

Man Arrested in Brentwood for Impersonating Firefighter During Palisades Fire

July 18, 2025

July 18, 2025

The suspect faces at least 28 criminal counts—including 23 felonies—spanning incidents from 2023 to May 2025 Federal and local law...

West Coast Premiere of ‘The Opposite of Love’ Opens at Hudson Backstage Theatre

July 18, 2025

July 18, 2025

Produced by Neil Gooding Productions, behind shows like Back to the Future: The Musical, the play runs Thursdays through Saturdays at...

Study Highlights Economic Impact of Cap-and-Trade Extension in Los Angeles

July 18, 2025

July 18, 2025

Governor Gavin Newsom and legislative leaders are pushing to reauthorize the program this year, citing its role in generating 287,000...

Film Review: Superman

July 17, 2025

July 17, 2025

“This movie is packed with storyline, Superman lore, meaningful objects, and action.” writes Kathryn Whitney Boole Rated PG-13129 MinutesReleased July...

Multiple Drug Arrests Reported in Palisades Park in Recent Weeks

July 17, 2025

July 17, 2025

SMPD Reported Several of the Arrests Between June 29 and July 5 The Santa Monica Police Department reported several drug-related...

(Video) Did You Know Emma Chamberlain’s Coffee Shop is in Century City?

July 17, 2025

July 17, 2025

The outpost is a first for the popular influencer Did You Know Emma Chamberlain’s Coffee Shop is in Century City?...

Mayor Bass Hails National Guard Withdrawal as Victory for Unity

July 17, 2025

July 17, 2025

The Pentagon’s decision to reduce the troop presence follows weeks of legal challenges and public demonstrations Mayor Karen Bass celebrated...

DUI Checkpoints to be Conducted Across LA This Weekend

July 16, 2025

July 16, 2025

The LAPD selects checkpoint sites based on data indicating high incidents of impaired driving-related crashes and arrests The Los Angeles...

SMPD to Conduct Bicycle and Pedestrian Safety Operation on Friday

July 16, 2025

July 16, 2025

The focus will be on speeding, illegal turns, failing to yield or provide right of way to cyclists or walkers,...

Dodgers to Host Back to School Bash for Fire-Affected Families

July 16, 2025

July 16, 2025

The free event will offer free groceries, school supplies, outfits, haircuts, medical screenings, and carnival rides The Los Angeles Dodgers...

LA Sees Second Straight Year of Homelessness Decline, Leaders Celebrate Progress

July 16, 2025

July 16, 2025

The survey, designed by the University of Southern California, reported a 17.5% drop—the largest two-year decrease on record The Los...

LAPD Seeks Missing 63-Year-Old Man Known to Frequent Playa Vista

July 15, 2025

July 15, 2025

His family last heard from him via a group text on June 22 The Los Angeles Police Department’s Missing Persons...

Santa Monica Offers City-Owned Properties for Affordable Housing Development

July 15, 2025

July 15, 2025

The move aims to address the city’s Regional Housing Need Assessment of 8,895 units, with a goal of producing at...

California Hits Two-Thirds Clean Energy Milestone

July 15, 2025

July 15, 2025

This year, clean energy has powered the state for an average of seven hours daily, with over 90% of days...

Venice Beach to Host First Medal at 2028 Olympics

July 15, 2025

July 15, 2025

Venice Beach, known for its vibrant boardwalk, will kick off the 844 ticketed events, hosting the triathlon along its coastline...